The Friday Thing 17th June 2005 - The Reasonable Doubt Issue
JACKSON CONDENSED
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The Michael Jackson trial is finally over, with the expected result - a media explosion like that of a giant piñata full of little bits of news. No innocent fact has been left unsullied, no detail of the case and its possible repercussions safe from the groping hand of ill-considered commentary. The most famous thing ever to happen to the best-known individual ever born has blown itself out, leaving a trail of bodies of analysis like dying wildebeest across a media Serengeti. For ease of reference and regurgitation, and because frankly there's a fraction of fuck all left to say, TFT provides you with the pick of the Jackson trial newsbones.
1) He's been exonerated. But what has this gruelling ordeal cost the King of Pop?
2) The gruelling ordeal is over. But who is really going to have to pay for it?
3) The King of Pop's finances are in tatters. But what of his reputation?
4) Jackson's reputation is in shreds. But what of his legacy?
5) A jury cleared him. But was he guilty?
6) He's not guilty. But is he?
7) He's guilty. Innit?
8) The gruelling ordeal is only just beginning. But with only his legacy to pay for, what of his financial guilt?
9) The trial is over. What are we going to do for news?
10) Michael Jackson - a pre-posthumous retrospective.
Next week: George 'been busy' Best.
* * *
JOURNOJISM: BASHING BASHIR
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As Michael Jackson walks free, so is the can of legal whoop-ass reopened in the face of journalist Martin Bashir. Legal action against Bashir and Granada Television for breach of confidence was suspended during the trial, but may now be taken up again. As well as this, Bashir may be facing contempt of court charges for being so utterly useless and taciturn when called to give evidence. No stranger to the journalist-becomes-the-story scenario, he may soon have to lie back and think of the book deal.
Whatever you think of Jackson, it's hard to justify the kitten-kicking safari of sensationalism that was 'Living With Michael Jackson', the ITV documentary that marked the start of the whole mess. The New York Times accused Bashir at the time of 'callous self-interest masked as sympathy', and it's hard to come up with a better summation, although something about the kind of unctuousness you could deep-fry chips in would set it off nicely.
It's not so much his comprehensive dicing of an already finely-chopped individual, or his craven inability to face up to the implications of his own work in court, but his denting of the already tarnished trophy of journalistic integrity. Journalists are under enormous pressure to secure stories, to gather actual news, but given a little rope anda bit of a budget many of them will agree that it's better to gain the trust of your subject in order to get the best from them - bullying and doorstepping gets results, but only up to a point. Subsequently, the golden goose gets a bit constipated.
Journalists, of course, have a job to do. They are not your friend. They will get you on side, and then they may very well do you. They may pretend to know what 'off-the-record' is and then oops, un-know it. It happens, it goes with theterritory, and no one is pretending that it's a good idea to stop being wary of journalists if you're famous or potentially famous. But somehow Bashir did such a number on Jackson, sucking up to him with such pigletish fervour before dismembering him with such butcherly ferocity, that his journalistic conduct was as shocking as he intended the documentary to be. Purportedly a serious programme-maker, he succumbed with Faustian gusto to the lure of tabloid hysteria-mongering. It does journos scrabbling to maintain integrity in the face of ruthless competition no good for the world to see Bashir as an avatar of their trade, just as it does victims of child abuse no good to have the manipulated Gavin Arvizo as a representative.
Bashir can't be happy right now, but the day of the verdict wasn't an especially good day for anyone, except the defence team and the ecstatic fans who use Jackson to opt out of reality in much the same way the singer uses children. Nutty, exploitative mother Janet Arvizo will be fucking off home to seethe, and be harassed, and somehow deal with it. Gavin Arvizo has even more to deal with, most notably that he has a deranged crazyperson for a carer. Prosecutor Tom Sneddon will be retiring in ignominy and disappointment. The bloke who played Jackson in the hilarious Sky reconstructions will be anxiously scanning the job pages. And Jackson himself will be returning to his big empty house with nothing much at all to look forward to but the thought of a nice MTV tribute when he dies, thin and spent, in a heap of teddy bears and Grammys and tasteful coffee-table books with just one or two naked boys in them. But at least then the Sky guy will get work again, so it's not all bad.
* * *
ASBOs: THE ANTIDOTE
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The Asbo scheme was extended last week to include 'mini-Asbos', inevitably rousing both opponents and supporters. On Saturday the former general secretary of civil rights group Liberty, Andrew Puddephatt, accused opponents of the scheme of being sillybuggers, and reminded them that the victims of anti-social behaviour have rights too. Then the current Liberty director Shami Chakrabarti complained of the 'tough talk and arbitrary powers which make insufficient distinction between criminality, irritation and social exclusion', further opining that 'the naming and shaming of children is more akin to the medieval stocks than a 21st-century law and order strategy. We are in danger of transforming Britain into Asboland.'
How best then to counteract the surge in anti-social behaviour, smooth the ruffled feathers of libertarians and make sure that everybody's happy?
1) Esbos - Exemplary Social Behaviour Orders - to be introduced. If you are spotted placing litter in a bin, helping a young mother get her pram down the stairs, conversing vivaciously and with consummate wit on current events, or drinking tea with your little finger raised, you will be served with an Esbo and made to stay indoors in case you get beaten up for being a poof.
2) Trendy mauve Esbo wristbands to be produced, creating a huge demand in schools for the must-have accessories. Children found buying the wristbands in bulk and selling them on for a profit to be served with Delbos (Derek Trotter Behaviour Orders).
3) 'Asboland' theme park to be built in Greenwich, in an attempt to rehabilitate persistent offenders by allowing them to let off steam. Attractions to include Sierra Cosworth Bonnet-Bounce, Pensioner Happy Slap and Fun Incredibly Noisy All-Night Party House.
4) In the interests of helping those with Asbos feel less vilified, special Neasbos (Not Especially Anti-Social Behaviour Orders) to be rolled out. Open-mouthed gum-chewers, pigeon-feeders, queue-jumpers and people who swear out loud when stung by wasps to be served with the new orders.
5) ITV to produce Asbo Island. Paul Danan hailed as 'cheeky' new role model for teenage tearaways.
=
The Michael Jackson trial is finally over, with the expected result - a media explosion like that of a giant piñata full of little bits of news. No innocent fact has been left unsullied, no detail of the case and its possible repercussions safe from the groping hand of ill-considered commentary. The most famous thing ever to happen to the best-known individual ever born has blown itself out, leaving a trail of bodies of analysis like dying wildebeest across a media Serengeti. For ease of reference and regurgitation, and because frankly there's a fraction of fuck all left to say, TFT provides you with the pick of the Jackson trial newsbones.
1) He's been exonerated. But what has this gruelling ordeal cost the King of Pop?
2) The gruelling ordeal is over. But who is really going to have to pay for it?
3) The King of Pop's finances are in tatters. But what of his reputation?
4) Jackson's reputation is in shreds. But what of his legacy?
5) A jury cleared him. But was he guilty?
6) He's not guilty. But is he?
7) He's guilty. Innit?
8) The gruelling ordeal is only just beginning. But with only his legacy to pay for, what of his financial guilt?
9) The trial is over. What are we going to do for news?
10) Michael Jackson - a pre-posthumous retrospective.
Next week: George 'been busy' Best.
* * *
JOURNOJISM: BASHING BASHIR
=
As Michael Jackson walks free, so is the can of legal whoop-ass reopened in the face of journalist Martin Bashir. Legal action against Bashir and Granada Television for breach of confidence was suspended during the trial, but may now be taken up again. As well as this, Bashir may be facing contempt of court charges for being so utterly useless and taciturn when called to give evidence. No stranger to the journalist-becomes-the-story scenario, he may soon have to lie back and think of the book deal.
Whatever you think of Jackson, it's hard to justify the kitten-kicking safari of sensationalism that was 'Living With Michael Jackson', the ITV documentary that marked the start of the whole mess. The New York Times accused Bashir at the time of 'callous self-interest masked as sympathy', and it's hard to come up with a better summation, although something about the kind of unctuousness you could deep-fry chips in would set it off nicely.
It's not so much his comprehensive dicing of an already finely-chopped individual, or his craven inability to face up to the implications of his own work in court, but his denting of the already tarnished trophy of journalistic integrity. Journalists are under enormous pressure to secure stories, to gather actual news, but given a little rope anda bit of a budget many of them will agree that it's better to gain the trust of your subject in order to get the best from them - bullying and doorstepping gets results, but only up to a point. Subsequently, the golden goose gets a bit constipated.
Journalists, of course, have a job to do. They are not your friend. They will get you on side, and then they may very well do you. They may pretend to know what 'off-the-record' is and then oops, un-know it. It happens, it goes with theterritory, and no one is pretending that it's a good idea to stop being wary of journalists if you're famous or potentially famous. But somehow Bashir did such a number on Jackson, sucking up to him with such pigletish fervour before dismembering him with such butcherly ferocity, that his journalistic conduct was as shocking as he intended the documentary to be. Purportedly a serious programme-maker, he succumbed with Faustian gusto to the lure of tabloid hysteria-mongering. It does journos scrabbling to maintain integrity in the face of ruthless competition no good for the world to see Bashir as an avatar of their trade, just as it does victims of child abuse no good to have the manipulated Gavin Arvizo as a representative.
Bashir can't be happy right now, but the day of the verdict wasn't an especially good day for anyone, except the defence team and the ecstatic fans who use Jackson to opt out of reality in much the same way the singer uses children. Nutty, exploitative mother Janet Arvizo will be fucking off home to seethe, and be harassed, and somehow deal with it. Gavin Arvizo has even more to deal with, most notably that he has a deranged crazyperson for a carer. Prosecutor Tom Sneddon will be retiring in ignominy and disappointment. The bloke who played Jackson in the hilarious Sky reconstructions will be anxiously scanning the job pages. And Jackson himself will be returning to his big empty house with nothing much at all to look forward to but the thought of a nice MTV tribute when he dies, thin and spent, in a heap of teddy bears and Grammys and tasteful coffee-table books with just one or two naked boys in them. But at least then the Sky guy will get work again, so it's not all bad.
* * *
ASBOs: THE ANTIDOTE
=
The Asbo scheme was extended last week to include 'mini-Asbos', inevitably rousing both opponents and supporters. On Saturday the former general secretary of civil rights group Liberty, Andrew Puddephatt, accused opponents of the scheme of being sillybuggers, and reminded them that the victims of anti-social behaviour have rights too. Then the current Liberty director Shami Chakrabarti complained of the 'tough talk and arbitrary powers which make insufficient distinction between criminality, irritation and social exclusion', further opining that 'the naming and shaming of children is more akin to the medieval stocks than a 21st-century law and order strategy. We are in danger of transforming Britain into Asboland.'
How best then to counteract the surge in anti-social behaviour, smooth the ruffled feathers of libertarians and make sure that everybody's happy?
1) Esbos - Exemplary Social Behaviour Orders - to be introduced. If you are spotted placing litter in a bin, helping a young mother get her pram down the stairs, conversing vivaciously and with consummate wit on current events, or drinking tea with your little finger raised, you will be served with an Esbo and made to stay indoors in case you get beaten up for being a poof.
2) Trendy mauve Esbo wristbands to be produced, creating a huge demand in schools for the must-have accessories. Children found buying the wristbands in bulk and selling them on for a profit to be served with Delbos (Derek Trotter Behaviour Orders).
3) 'Asboland' theme park to be built in Greenwich, in an attempt to rehabilitate persistent offenders by allowing them to let off steam. Attractions to include Sierra Cosworth Bonnet-Bounce, Pensioner Happy Slap and Fun Incredibly Noisy All-Night Party House.
4) In the interests of helping those with Asbos feel less vilified, special Neasbos (Not Especially Anti-Social Behaviour Orders) to be rolled out. Open-mouthed gum-chewers, pigeon-feeders, queue-jumpers and people who swear out loud when stung by wasps to be served with the new orders.
5) ITV to produce Asbo Island. Paul Danan hailed as 'cheeky' new role model for teenage tearaways.
posted by lethalbuzzle @ 2:22 PM
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